062 // filtered to the infirmary doctors: McCoy and Martha (I play Denise too, so nothing for her)

[thatlibbychick]

Okay, I have to be honest here. I was ashamed to ask about this alone, but I don't really have a choice now. I will snap if I don't get help soon.

I haven't slept for more than a few minutes at a time since the last flood. That's, what...maybe a month ago? I can't do it anymore. Makeup won't hide it anymore, I'm getting sick, and I've lost a good twenty-five pounds that baggy clothes won't serve to mask. It's been interfering with my medication and I'm having severe mood swings and outbursts. I break down when I don't have anything to do with myself. I've spent the past couple of nights huddled against a wall.

I can't sleep because I almost always dream, and if I start I'll scream myself awake again. On top of that, the nightmares just keep getting worse. I need something to knock me out cold. I don't care what it is, so long as I can get it fast.

Just the drugs. I'll deal with the rest myself. I'd be worthless as a psychologist if I couldn't.

Comments

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[hyposprayed.livejournal.com]

Libby, you're at this point because you've bee trying to deal with it yourself. You know sleeping pills won't take care of anything in the long run.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

You do realize that there aren't any other shrinks here, right? If I can just get enough sleep, I'm sure I'll be able to fix it.

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[hyposprayed.livejournal.com]

I realize that a shrink who is in this bad of shape may as well be as much a danger to her patients as she is to herself. I hope that's something you realize too at this point.

Take some time off, talk to someone. We may not have other shrinks but I'm sure Martha or I could manage something. Drugging yourself isn't going to fix the underlying problem.

filter - oh snap bad choice of words, since she's struggling with her flood-self D:

[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

I pose zero danger to my patients! What do you think I'd do, take this out on one of them?!

filter - that flood messed shit up :<

[hyposprayed.livejournal.com]

Damnit Libby, some of these people are delicate mentally at best. They need to be able to trust you as a third party observer. I'm not saying you'd do it intentionally, hell, I'm not saying you'd do it at all but from what you're describing it's damn apparent you're not in the right state of mind to be dealing with them.

You need to talk to someone and you need to take some time to recuperate instead of drugging yourself to oblivion and calling that a cure. It's your duty as psychologist to know and respect that, as hard as it might be.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

Recuperation is impossible if I can't sleep. I need time where I'm not thinking or imagining anything. I've been doing nothing but thinking almost constantly for a month, and at that point the mind starts to auto-cannibalize itself.

You're advising me to take time off--I'll take time off. I'll talk to someone. Those things alone are not going to help me.

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[hyposprayed.livejournal.com]

I never said you shouldn't take something to get some sleep, what I'm saying is that's not going to fix the problem.

They'll help a lot more than you're giving them credit for. If these 'potions' don't work come down and I'll prescribe you something.

Filter

[toldastory]

Libby, I think trying Snape's dreamless sleep potion should be the first step before this.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

I don't know how that works, and I'm not in any condition to be playing guinea pig right now.

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[toldastory]

I'm worried about you, Libby. Really worried.

But I understand. It might not even help though, a sedative. You know that.

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

I also know that if I keep going without trying anything, my last resort will be a gun.

I can't keep this up.

Re: Filter

[toldastory]

All right Libby. I'll give you something, and then we'll try the dreamless sleep potion, yeah?

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[thatlibbychick.livejournal.com]

Good. Thank you.