I don't want pity, actually, and if I were defenseless, I would have tucked my tail between my legs and ran away long ago.

Look, let me give it to you straight. I've lost a lot of people. Family, friends, a spouse--and not one of them is the same as the nature of this loss. It evokes very different feelings for me, as a psychologist and as a Warden, and I'm not saying that one type of loss is any more painful than the others. The deaths or disappearances of my loved ones prior to this place were completely out of my hands--I wasn't forewarned or tasked with redeeming them, with saving them, with repairing their psyches. I was supposed to do that with Dru, and apparently, I failed in it.

I'm not going to compare apples to oranges at all right now, not even within the scope of my own life experience. Hopefully, you can understand why.